Condoms and Coils

by Patsy Collins
^{(creative writers at MoreWriting)}

Kath smiled to herself as she watched Mandy go. It hardly seemed two minutes since her niece had been asking for advice on clearing her acne, so she'd attract a boyfriend. Now Mandy was happily married, maybe it wouldn't be long before she was round asking advice on preparing for pregnancy. Kath hoped so; she loved kids. She didn't want any more of her own though - her three were more than enough and she wasn't ready for grandchildren either. Not just yet.

Her Jeanine was only just turned sixteen and didn't have a serious boyfriend so that wasn't likely. Not impossible though, as Kath knew only too well. In her job as a practice nurse, she'd seen several girls who'd 'got themselves into trouble'. Of course, it took two to tango, as her mum used to say. Kath had given both her lads a bit of a talking to as soon as they'd shown an interest in girls. She'd warned them that a girl could easily get pregnant, even if it was her first time. She had heard all the daft things the pregnant girls who consulted her had believed. They thought if it was their first time, or if they did it standing up, or around the time of their period, they'd be safe. Of course, none of that was true. Anyway, even if they'd not got pregnant, they wouldn't have been safe from diseases such as chlamydia, herpes and HIV.

She'd tried to talk to the boys about safe sex, but it had quickly become obvious it wasn't something they wanted to discuss with their Mum.

"Condoms, that's what they need," she'd told her husband, Donald. "If they can't afford them, then they can get them for free from the surgery. They could pop in when they know I'm not working if it would save their blushes."

"OK, I'll have a word with them, but they might be embarrassed talking to me too. I don't know what they'll want to know," Donald said.

"Just stick to the facts and let them know where they can get more information and that they can ask us anything if they want to."

A short time later, Donald had come into the kitchen. "I think I got the main points across to them, but somehow they've turned it round so that we're having a male bonding session and I'm treating them to pizza. See you in a couple of hours."

Kath laughed at the memory. She was glad that having a frank talk hadn't caused any awkwardness. Because she still did their washing and they still forgot to empty their pockets, she knew they'd taken their Dad's advice. Kath tried not to notice if the pockets contained a still sealed and tatty looking pack of condoms (Ewan) or loose new-looking individual ones (Kevin).

The boys rarely gave her any cause for concern. Their younger sister was a different matter. Jeanine was growing up fast and valued her privacy. Although that was understandable, Kath worried that it meant she didn't know what help and advice her daughter might need. Only a few weeks ago, Kath had overheard Jeanine telling a friend about the tattoo she'd been planning to get. Kath had given a lecture, saying it was illegal for tattoos to be performed on anyone under eighteen without a parent's permission, which Jeanine certainly did not have. She'd pointed out that if the tattooist wasn't worried about the law he might also not be concerned about hygiene. Kath's concern had been rewarded with a tantrum and the information that she was a snooping, interfering busybody who wanted to spoil all Jeanine's fun. It had been several days until Kath and Jeanine had been on good terms again. Fortunately it had only been a temporary tattoo Jeanine had wanted and she'd realised that, if she hadn't wanted her mum to listen to the conversation, she should have conducted it more than four feet away from her.

Kath knew that some of the pregnant girls who came to see her at work were Jeanine's age, or younger. Perhaps it was time to talk to her daughter? Could she do it without starting another row? Then she remembered Mandy. Her niece had asked Kath, not her own mother, for contraceptive advice. It might have been partly because of her medical experience, but it wasn't just that.

"I know Mum would want to help; it's just that she'd probably give me a lecture on behaving properly and it'd be embarrassing too."

Mandy had been right; her mum probably would have wanted to advise on more than strictly medical matters. Kath knew she'd be the same; she wanted the best for Jeanine and sometimes forgot to let her make her own decisions.

Kath made a cup of tea, wondered what to do. It wouldn't be right not to offer advice and support to Jeanine, but it also wasn't right to interfere and possibly cause friction by insisting her daughter listen to a lecture on how Kath thought she should behave. She knew there were more ways of getting information than asking your mum though. Asking Donald to have a word wasn't going to be the answer this time. Kath would need to come up with something more subtle.

At work, Kath picked up some leaflets about contraception and sexual health for Jeanine. She had a quick look through the leaflets herself. Several methods of contraception were covered. The Pill, of course, was one. That's 99% effective if used correctly. If Jeanine started taking that, then Kath would make sure she knew she mustn't miss any. Jeanine wasn't blessed with the greatest memory. All teenagers sometimes 'forget' to tidy their rooms or do their homework, but Jeanine sometimes forgets fun stuff too. She'd once chosen and paid for a fabulous pair of shoes, got distracted by a display of handbags and left without her expensive new stilettos. She'd had to go back and explain to the shop the following morning. Missing a pill could cause more problems than mild embarrassment and an extra bus journey. Maybe it would be best for her to have the kind where you take one every day, rather than taking a break for each period. That would be easier to remember.

Kath was on the Pill and she didn't have any problems, but she knew there was a small risk of side-effects, such as headaches, nausea and sore breasts. Everyone is different, so the Pill might not suit some people, but Kath knew that whoever prescribed the Pill would first check it was suitable for the woman who wanted it.

The Pill wasn't the only option; Kath had picked up other information too. She'd leave Jeanine all the leaflets and let her decide. Her daughter always had liked to make her own choices. As a toddler, she'd always insisted on going through her entire sock selection before deciding which pair to wear. She's moved on to nail varnish and jewellery now, but she still puts the same thought into her choice. Kath hoped that when she needed contraception Jeanine would chose condoms. They would provide protection from disease as well as from pregnancy and, unless you were allergic to the latex, there were no side-effects. They're also available in different colours and flavours, but Jeanine could make that discovery with someone other than her mum. Caps and diaphragms were also mentioned in the same leaflet. They weren't completely reliable, she read, but were better than that rhythm method.

There was also a leaflet about IUDs. Kath often assisted whilst these were fitted. She knew they were mainly used by women older than Jeanine. Usually those who were married and had children, as the device could make infection a bit more likely so were best for those with just one partner. Kath didn't think her daughter would be interested in a coil. She left the leaflets on the Pill, barrier contraception and sexual health in her daughter's room with a note.

"Jeanine love,

Just some stuff for you to take a look at when you're ready. I'd be happy to answer any questions or talk about anything with you. You do know that don't you?

Still, if you're a bit shy talking to your old mum about sex and stuff you could always have a chat with your cousin Mandy, or the nurse at school. I know you're pretty sensible, so I won't pester you about this.

Love Mum xx

PS Tidy this room up!"

Kath laughed - she hoped Jeanine didn't bring a boy back here. She might never find him again under the piles of magazines, discarded clothes, high-heeled shoes, make-up kits and teddy bears.

The following day, as she drank another cup of tea, Kath looked at the IUD leaflet. She knew that it meant intrauterine device and that a trained person had to fit it. She knew that it worked by stopping the sperm meeting the egg and that the copper it was made from had a spermicidal effect. The information that it was 99% effective and that it could be left in place for five years and didn't interfere with sex wasn't new either. That was why women used it. She knew about the yearly check-ups that were needed because she'd done enough of them. All they were was a quick peek to make sure it was still in place and a check that there was no infection or discomfort. Very few of her patients had ever had any trouble, although a couple had said their periods seemed a bit heavier. That's what put Kath off; her periods were heavy enough, thank you very much.

She kept reading. The leaflet mentioned the possibility of the IUD causing damage when it was fitted; she agreed it must be very rare - it had never happened in her surgery. She knew the device could come out; again that too was rare, but patients were always shown how to check it was still in place so they didn't have to worry about that. She also noted that if a woman with the device fitted were to become pregnant then it was possible she would have an ectopic pregnancy. Kath knew that could be serious, so was glad the leaflet warned people to see their doctor straight away if they missed a period and then had abdominal pain. Then Kath read something she didn't know.

As well as IUDs there were things called IUSs - nearly the same, but the S was for system, not device. It wasn't just the name that was a bit different; the IUS gave out progestogen hormone, straight into the uterus. As that was the stuff in the Pill, Kath guessed, that it made it more reliable. Then she got to the best bit, as well as being a contraceptive, the IUS also treated heavy periods. Kath thought of the contraceptive Pill she took each day and the painkillers each month. It was time for her to see her doctor, as IUSs sounded perfect for her.

"It must be good."

Kath jumped at the sound of Jeanine's voice. "What's that love?"

"I asked what you were reading, but you didn't answer, so it must be something good?"

Feeling a touch self-conscious, Kath held up the leaflet.

"Urgh, Mum! Too much information!"

"Well, you did ask. You know you can ask me anything, don't you love?"

"Yes, Mum, you said in your note." Jeanine put her arm round Kath's shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze. "I already knew that and I know you won't interrogate me if I don't want to talk either."

Kath grinned. She'd done the right thing. "Kettle's just boiled. Fancy a cuppa?"