A Prickly Situation

by Patsy Collins
^{(creative writers at http://www.morewriting.co.uk)}

"Sorry, but I really won't be able to make it to the party tonight, no matter how many fig leaves I wear," I said into Mandy's voice mail. I was dripping water onto the floor, because I'd just taken a cool shower to try and soothe my itchy skin and it occurred to me that she'd probably be showering too as part of her lengthy preparations for the evening out. Yeah, I admit I deliberately timed the call to avoid talking to her. I know what she's like; there's no crisis on earth that she'd think was a reasonable excuse to avoid tonight's party. You see, Dishy Duncan is going to be there. Rumour has it that he'll be coming as a caveman. Did I mention that the party is fancy dress? I probably forgot to mention that Mandy fancies Duncan, but I expect you've guessed as much.

Mandy is a bit shy. Not with me, I wish she were sometimes, but she's not. She's shy about going into a room full of strangers though and she's shy around blokes she fancies. You can see why she wants me to come to the party with her, then. Especially when I tell you what she's going as: a lifeguard! You know, the Baywatch type, not the weirdos who hang out down the lido and throw rubber rings and poke you with sticks when you go under for the third time.

To sum up; shy Mandy really wants to go to the party, but she's not confident enough to go on her own. Normally, I'd be confident enough for the two of us; but not today. Not with this rash.

I was going to go as Eve. What it is, my brother works for a company who make props for stage plays. He came home the other day with a huge bag of plastic fig leaves. Yeah, weird I know; I thought it was just supposed to be businessmen who bring their work home with them, but apparently not. He brought home some other stuff too, including the scraps of fur he's going to wear. He's wearing the fur to the party, I should have said that. I wouldn't want you to think that Duncan's the kind of weirdo who normally wears nothing but leopard skin boxers to the club. Dishy Duncan is my brother - you are keeping up here aren't you? He's giving us a lift. Well, he would have done if I'd been going.

I'd have thought, and maybe you did too, that Mandy would have been happy that I wasn't going so she could have him all to herself without me as gooseberry. That's what I said when the rash first flared up. Did I tell you about the rash? I might not have as I don't like to go on, but as you asked, I'll explain. It's little red dots on my skin, in groups they are and look like tiny blisters. I've got patches on different parts of my body. They're worst where my clothes touch. They don't exactly itch; it's more of an intense prickling sensation. Some of the skin is red. What I've got is Miliaria Rubra, or prickly heat to you and me.

This Miliaria thing is due to blocked sweat ducts. There are thousands of sweat glands just under the skin's surface. They make sweat which travels down the sweat duct to the skin surface. If they're blocked, the sweat seeps into the skin. This causes tiny patches of inflammation which forms the rash.

Some people are more likely than others to get it. Bacteria called Staphylococcus epidermidis could be something to do with it. These bacteria live on the skin anyway; miliaria's not like an infection or anything. What happens is the bacteria make sticky stuff and that mixes with dead skin and sweat and that makes the blockage.

Bet you're surprised I know all this stuff, eh? I'll let you into the secret; I didn't until a while ago. I was thinking about wanting to go to the party, but not wanting to go with the rash, when Jezzer phoned to ask if I'd go with him. He keeps asking me out. He's really sweet to me, so I don't like to keep saying no, but he's a bit odd, so I don't often say yes either. Anyway, the rash gave me the perfect excuse, so I told him all about it. Seems Jezzer isn't the sort of bloke to be put off by a rash. Told you he was odd. Anyway, he told me it sounded like prickly heat, which his aunt used to get and he'd look it up on the internet for me. He'd told me that stuff that I've just told you then I decided I really should tell Mandy I couldn't go. That had been the first time I called her and she'd answered then.

"I can't go, Mandy," I said. "I've got miliaria rubra."

"Crikey, Sue! That sounds bad; what is it? Are you very ill? Can I do anything? Is it contagious?" She seemed worried about me.

"Don't worry, it's not catching and it's not going to kill me. It doesn't sound so scary when it's called prickly heat."

"Prickly what?"

"Prickly heat, it's a rash and ..."

"You're right. Prickly heat doesn't sound bad," she interrupted. Sympathy didn't last long, you'll notice.

"It is. It's really itchy and ..."

"Well try not to scratch it at the party."

I decided to try an approach she'd understand.

"I'll be really embarrassed with everyone looking at it and they will if I'm wearing nothing but three fig leaves."

"Well just wear more leaves. I'll see you at seven-thirty, just like we agreed."

Shy or bossy? I'll let you decide.

I was feeling sorry for myself when Duncan came home.

"What's up, Sis?"

I told him everything.

"Well, you ring up Jezzer and see if there's anything he's found out that will make you feel better and I'll stick some more leaves onto your outfit."

It wasn't quite the response I'd hoped for.

"You think I should go?"

"You told me that Mandy was going as a Baywatch babe but won't go without you; of course you've got to come."

I rang Jezzer. I knew he'd be nice to me.

"How are you feeling now, Sue?" he asked ever so sweetly.

"Itchy. Is there anything I can do to stop that?"

"Yes, I've been reading up on the subject since I heard you had it. Usually the problem will clear up quickly without any treatment, but calamine lotion would probably be soothing if the itching is very bad or you could ask the pharmacy for some 1% hydrocortisone cream to reduce the inflamation. The best thing seems to be to stay cool and avoid sweating. You could take a cold shower and then dress in loose clothes and stay in a cool place."

"A shower sounds like a great idea. Thanks, Jez, I'll try that right away." I hung up and left him to think about me in the shower.

Whilst I was in there, I felt much better. The itching stopped and the thought of the sweat and stuff being washed away cheered me up. When I got out, I saw the rash was just as bad. I rang Mandy back and left the message saying I couldn't go that I told you about at the start of this story.

I rang Jezzer back. "I've still got the rash," I told him.

"It can take a few days to clear."

"I'll have to miss the party then," I pointed out.

"That would be a shame, I was really looking forward to seeing you."

I wasn't sure what to do. The idea of missing the party didn't seem such a good one by then.

"Why don't you keep as cool as you can until it's time to go and then wear cool clothing, cotton is best apparently. We could stay in the garden most of the evening and if you don't feel well, I'd be happy to bring you home at any time."

"OK then. I'll see you there."

I remembered Duncan was working on my costume. "Hold the fig leaves," I called. Before he could answer, the house phone rang.

"Hi, Mandy," he simpered. "No, don't worry, she's coming."

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I took off some of the leaves Duncan had added to my costume and turned up at the party looking like a moth-eaten bush.

"Hello, Sue. You look lovely," Jezzer said the minute we walked through the door.

"Yeah, absolutely treeeemendous," Duncan said.

"Leaf it out," Mandy giggled.

That was the last I saw of them.

"You really do look lovely," Jezzer said when they'd cleared off.

"Thanks, Jez. What have you come as, exactly?"

"An off duty air traffic controller."

"Oh, OK," was all I could say to that.

Jezzer didn't seem to have anything at all to talk about. Odd as he was quite chatty on the phone. I decided it was down to me to keep the conversation going as I'm good at that sort of thing.

"So, when you looked up about my miliaria, did you find out what caused it?" I used the posh name as I didn't fancy announcing in public that I had a rash I was worried about.

"It is just the blockage of the sweat ducts," he said. "Miliaria can develop in anyone at any age, but is most common in children and babies as their sweat glands are immature so more likely to become blocked. Another cause is people travelling to somewhere hot and sweating more than usual."

"Hmmm. I've started cycling recently and I wear lots of clothes as it's cold in the mornings, but I get sweaty on the way. Maybe that's caused it?"

"It's possible. Miliaria can occur whenever sweating is a problem. For example, if someone is ill and lies on their back for a long time they might get it on their back."

"So can I stop it coming back?"

"You can help by trying to avoid getting hot and stay out of humid places. Even staying in a cool place for a few hours a day can help. Using an antibacterial soap or antiseptic wash might reduce the bacteria on your skin down that seem to be responsible. Moisturisers containing anhydrous lanolin can help to prevent blockage of the sweat ducts. The main thing though is to keep cool. Why don't you sit out in the garden and I'll bring you a nice cold drink?"

I did as he suggested.

"What did you say the proper name is again?" I asked when he'd given me the drink but not started talking.

"Miliaria rubra. That's the most common type of miliaria. There's one called miliaria crystallina. The rash is clear in that one because the blockage is nearer the surface. It's not serious. There's a worse type called milliaria profunda. In that one the rash is deeper into the skin and it's more serious."

"Oh, what can happen?"

"With that one, or the one you have it's possible that because you can't sweat properly you could develop a fever or heat exhaustion. That's only likely if the rash covers a large part of your body and you don't cool down. I think you'll be fine, but of course if you felt unwell you should see a doctor."

"I don't feel ill."

"That's good."

"I do feel a bit warm though."

"Perhaps you'd like to come for a drive, then? My car has air conditioning."

So that's what we did, we went for a drive. I'm not telling you what happened after that, you'll have to use your imagination. I will just say that the rash was gone a few days later and it didn't come back.