Dull Days

by Rosie Peters
^{(creative writers at www.morewriting.co.uk)}
"It's a mystery," said Katie from the kitchen.

The ringing of the phone had disturbed the mid afternoon doze I'd become accustomed to taking on the sofa. I couldn't hear all of what Katie was saying but I could tell she was concerned about something. She seemed to be talking about someone who'd become overweight.

To my horror I suddenly realised my daughter was talking about me. I got up and hurried to the kitchen. Katie had her back to the door and didn't see me.

"Perhaps Mum's depressed. She's changed ever so."

I grabbed the kettle and turned the tap on full. Katie swung round when she heard me. Her face flushing slightly as she spoke. "I'll ring back later."

"What do you mean," I said?

"Sorry Mum. Debbie and I are concerned about you. We're not being nasty, we're just worried."

"Well don't be, you've got A levels to think about. That's enough for anyone." I picked a couple of mugs from the draining board and slammed them down on the work surface.

"You're our mum and a lot more important than exams." Katie put an arm around me and laid her mop of ginger curls on my shoulder.

I know I shouldn't have snapped at her but I just didn't feel right. "Sorry love."

Katie placed mugs of tea on the kitchen table and we sat down.

"Mum, don't say there's nothing wrong because there is. You just don't have your usual sparkle and you've got quite plump. Debbie and I were wondering if you're feeling sad."

I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. Those girls of mine are so caring and they're all I've got since their dad died three years ago. People ask me if I'm depressed but I'm not, just tired.

I decided to tell Katie. "I've no energy and I'm slowing down. Everything seems such an effort, and look at me. I'm bursting out my clothes."

Katie nodded. She seemed much older than her seventeen years. "Perhaps you should see a doctor Mum. Maybe there's something up with your blood. Do you remember Gran got very tired? She had to have iron pills for anaemia."

I decided, for the sake of the girls I should go and speak with the doctor. It would be dreadful if Katie failed her A levels due to fretting about me. She jumped up and kissed me when I said I'd make a GP appointment.

It was two days later when I saw the doctor. I rarely go to the surgery so I thought I'd mention all the health problems I've got. I made a list so I didn't miss anything. There're things I didn't mention to Katie like aches and pains and my hair, though I expect she's noticed it's gone all thin and dry. And constipation too. That's new for me, even though I eat plenty of fruit and veg.

Doctor didn't seem to mind the list. I was surprised he seemed to know what was wrong with me straight away. "I think it's possible you may have an under active thyroid gland Mrs Musson. If that's the problem it can usually be treated with medication quite easily."

I had to have a blood test then see him a week later for the results. Those seven days dragged by but I kept busy reading about thyroid disease. I found out that the thyroid gland is in the neck. It produces a hormone called thyroxine and when there's too little or too much of it there can be problems. There's so much information on the internet. I discovered symptoms I know I've got but didn't think to mention to Doctor Strong. For instance, I always seem to need more clothes than anyone else to keep warm, and there's my skin. It's got so dry. Thought it was my age really but perhaps it's this thyroid thing.

I was glad when doctor told me I definitely have a thyroid disorder called hypothyroidism. I'll have to have tablets all my life because I don't make enough thyroxine. I'm not pleased I've got a medical condition, but I'm just glad he knows what's wrong with me and can do something about it. Thank goodness Katie persuaded me to get checked out because if I hadn't I would have been at increased risk of heart disease. That's because a low thyroxine level can cause the cholesterol to rise. In very rare cases a coma can happen. If I'd had the condition when younger and pregnant there could have been complications of pregnancy. I've had a lucky escape.

I asked Doctor Strong why I should have hypothyroidism as I try to keep fit and healthy. He said about one in fifty women get it at some stage in their lives. Men can get it too but it's not so common. Apparently, the type of under active thyroid gland I have is the most common. It's called autoimmune thyroiditis and it can run in families. I'll need to explain it all to the girls so they can be alert to any symptoms they might develop.

Doctor said he'd start me on a small dose of levothyroxine which is the drug needed to replace the hormone deficient in my blood. People who are on these tablets like me are able to get them for free apparently, and any other prescribed medication. Well that's good news I thought. I'll need another blood test in a couple of months and it's likely the medication will be increased. He said once things are stable I'll just have an annual blood test around the time of my birthday to check the prescribed dose of medication is still right for me. Doctor seems confident that when I've been on the tablets a few weeks I should start to have more oomph. Thank goodness for that.

I dread to think how I might have ended up if I hadn't made that GP appointment. Now I can see an end to my dull days in thick cardigans lazing on the sofa. It's such a relief to think I should feel normal soon. I might even have the energy to plan a fiftieth birthday party. Could get a new hairdo and perhaps, if I'm feeling less chilly I could wear something glamorous. Life's definitely going to get better now I've found out what's wrong with me.