Nice and Naughty

by Patsy Collins

"Happy Easter darling," Kevin said as he handed his wife a beautifully wrapped parcel. It was about the size and shape of an egg box.

Vickie gritted her teeth as she took the gift from him. It was heavy and by the feel she guessed it was six cream eggs. Vickie had always loved cream eggs; until she'd started her diet that was. She didn't need to look them up in her calorie list to know they weren't something she should be eating. It wasn't even as though she could just break of a small piece at a time. With a cream egg any normal person has to eat the whole thing at once. Any person with willpower like Vickie's has to eat the whole pack in a very short space of time. Why couldn't Kevin understand that although he'd given her chocolate eggs every year since they were together and she'd always enjoyed them, they weren't what she now wanted? He just grinned at her and waited for her to open the present.

She couldn't manage a grateful smile, but she mustn't start shouting at him until she'd at least checked to see what it was. She held the parcel still with both hands to prevent them shaking with angry frustration. She gazed down at the shiny paper and gauzy bow so that he wouldn't see her disappointed tears. She wasn't upset just because he'd given her an unwanted gift, but because he just didn't seem to understand her, no matter how carefully she'd try to explain it.

She'd been slim when they met, well perhaps curvy was more accurate, but she certainly hadn't been fat. After they married, she began to put on a bit of weight.

"That's because you're contented," Kevin told her when she mentioned it. He seemed pleased to be the source of the contentment and clearly wasn't worried by a few extra pounds. Vickie had become pregnant and gained more weight.

"You're blooming, love," Kevin said as he gently caressed her stomach.

She had only shifted half the gained weight by the time she became pregnant a second time. Again she put on weight and failed to lose it after the birth. By their tenth anniversary a friend joked that there was two stone of Vickie that Kevin wasn't married too. She'd been upset, but Kevin had hugged her.

"Lucky me, now there's even more of you to love."

Her weight continued to creep up. She tried not to notice, or at least not to let it worry her too much. Most of the time she'd succeeded, until a month before Christmas. They'd been invited to a party and Vickie went shopping for an outfit. After visiting every shop in the High Street, she'd been unable to find a dress to fit. She was used to having difficulty finding anything that looked good on her, but this year she couldn't even find something that would do up. She'd gone home in tears. Kevin had tried to comfort her.

"Never mind love, those High Street stores just cater for skinny young things, we'll find you something on the internet."

They'd ordered a dress and gone to the party. Vickie knew she was the only one there who'd had to order her dress especially because no standard shop sold clothes large enough. The biggest woman there apart from herself was wearing a dress that was identical to one that Vickie had tried and failed to squeeze into. She was quiet throughout the party and too upset to eat anything. At home, Kevin had tried to understand.

"It's true that you're not tiny, but what does that matter? In any group of people there's always one who's the biggest."

"Yes, and it's always me," Vickie said.

"Well I love you just as you are, and as long as you're healthy and happy I don't see that it matters what you weigh."

Vickie agreed with him, but as she wasn't happy, it didn't help. She knew she wasn't very healthy either. She got breathless walking upstairs, her hair and skin looked awful and she felt so lethargic all the time. She went into the bathroom and eased out of the dress, vowing that never again would she have to order one from an outsize specialist. That was another problem, here she was undressing in the bathroom, because she was too ashamed of her body to let her loving husband see it.

"You can't really fancy me," she told Kevin.

He tried to prove her wrong, but she was too tired to respond.

Vickie knew that even if her wobbly bits didn't put him off, they were making her unhappy. She went to her doctor.

"Many of your problems could be greatly improved with a few lifestyle changes. Your poor diet and sedentary lifestyle aren't just responsible for excess weight. Your tiredness and poor complexion are one result. Do you have any other problems?"

"Not really."

"No breathlessness, pains in your joints, constipation?"

"Well, a bit yes."

"And you know your weight could be causing other serious medical problems?"

"You mean heart attacks, diabetes stuff like that?"

"Yes, but please don't get too worried, if you adopt a healthier lifestyle and lose the excess weight you'll greatly reduce the risk."

"I know doctor, but it's not easy to change my habits."

"Small changes can make a difference. Try to get some exercise every day, you don't need to join a gym, just do something that gets you slightly out of breath and keep it up for as long as possible."

Vickie giggled as she imagined explaining that one to Kevin.

"If you are thinking of sex, then yes, that's good exercise."

Vickie grinned at him.

"Here are some leaflets on other types of exercise, swimming is good as it doesn't put strain on your joints, but you must find something you enjoy. I'm also going to refer you to a dietician. In the meantime try to eat plenty of fruit and vegetables."

Vickie followed the advice of her doctor and the dietician; at the end of the first week had lost three pounds. She felt great. The next week she lost two more and was really pleased with herself. During the third week the novelty of all the salads and fruit began to wear thin.

"I really fancy some cheese cake," she told Kevin.

He went straight down the shop, saying he wanted the evening paper. He came back with a gorgeous portion of white chocolate cheesecake, "As a reward for doing so well."

She wasn't angry with him, but felt guilty about giving in to the temptation and eating the whole thing as well as her proper supper.

To avoid too much temptation at Christmas she stocked the fridge with healthy food and didn't buy the usual boxes of shortcake, bags of nuts and tins of chocolates. Instead, she bought a few of Kevin's favourite nibbles and gave the children a selection box each. She was sure that if all the 'naughty' food was someone else's she'd manage to resist eating it. Her plan almost worked.

Kevin bought her an enormous box of Belgian truffles, some liqueur chocolates, a toblerone so large he'd needed two sheets of paper to wrap it and a novelty chocolate reindeer with jelly bean droppings. He also gave her an enormous dressing gown bought from the same supplier as her party dress. At first she'd thought he'd given her a whole set of towels and had been annoyed at receiving something to be used by the whole family as a present. She'd been really upset when she realised that this enormous mound of towelling was a single garment for herself.

Vickie tried not to show how unhappy she was with the choice of gifts, but Kevin guessed he'd got it wrong.

"Sorry love, I thought you deserved a few treats at Christmas."

"I know you were just trying to be kind, but I really do want to lose weight."

"I keep telling you, I love you how you are. You don't have to give up things you enjoy on my account."

"It's not just for you, I want to lose weight for myself too."

When Vickie explained how unhappy she was and how ill she felt, Kevin promised to help her.

"Take the chocolates into work and share them out. I'll get you another present in the sales."

Kevin bought her a pair of training shoes and the whole family began taking regular walks together. At first, Vickie tired quickly, but gradually she began to go a little farther each time.

The family ate healthy meals and whenever they fancied a fattening treat, they took care to eat them out of Vickie's sight. She steadily lost weight and became healthier and happier. Kevin noticed the difference.

"You look even better than you did five years ago and I certainly can't complain about your increased energy levels," he remarked in bed one evening.

That's why Vickie was so upset at the gift Kevin had just given her. He understood that she wanted to lose weight, she was doing extremely well, but still had more to lose. He'd agreed to help and could appreciate the difference it was making, so why on earth was he giving her chocolate eggs? If he'd wanted to give her a gift why not flowers or a basket of fruit? Perhaps it was a test of her willpower, well she could do without that. Maybe he'd got fed up with her and this was his way of saying she might as well give up trying to be attractive as no one would want her.

Vickie took a deep breath, better get this over with. She tugged at the pale pink wisp of ribbon and let it fall. She undid the paper and revealed an egg box. A real one. She opened it. Inside were six kiwi fruit. She looked up at Kevin.

"I didn't want you to feel you were missing out when the kids ate their chocolate ones."

Vickie hugged her husband, then whilst the kids went to their grandparents for an egg hunt, she and Kevin burnt up a few more calories.