Mumps Can Be a Pain in the Neck

by Shelley White
^{(creative writers at www.morewriting.co.uk)}
'My brother Daniel's down in the dumps
It's all because he's got the mumps!'

It's not fair. My brother, Harry, thinks he's so clever. He's always teasing me. Just because he became a teenager last week, he thinks he knows it all. I'm only a little down in the dumps, really, because I have to stay off school. I'm missing playing with Tom and Luke - they're my best friends.

Doctor Peacock said I've got the mumps. It's an infection caused by the mumps virus. It normally affects children, but anyone can get it. Doctor Peacock said mumps is catching - that's why I can't go to school this week. I wonder if Harry'll get it.

I'll tell you how it started. I'd been feeling a bit grouchy for a couple of days. When Tom came round to ask me if I wanted to play football on the playing field, I said I felt tired and that I had a headache too. He looked a bit cheesed off but I noticed that he didn't waste any time and he knocked on Luke's door after that.

Mum had made my favourite meal for tea - sausages, chips and beans. I think she was trying to cheer me up. Usually, I can't wait to tuck in but even the smell of it made me feel like being sick. I managed a bit of sausage but when I tried to chew and swallow, it felt really sore. The chips were yummy but the vinegar stung my throat. My mouth felt all dry as well. Then my tummy started hurting.

'What's the matter, Daniel?' asked Mum. 'I've not burnt your sausages again, have I?'

'No, course not. I feel icky and it hurts to swallow.'

'You poor thing. Let me have a look at your neck. It looks swollen.'

She started to prod my neck with her fingers but she wasn't very gentle. 'Ow, ow, that hurts, Mum.'

'It does seem very tender below your ears and your neck's certainly swollen. I've a feeling that you've caught mumps. I wonder if it's going round at school.'

That's when Harry started teasing me about being down in the dumps. He drives me mad sometimes. I know I'm his little brother, but does he always have to make fun of me? Maybe one day I'll get my own back.

Luckily, Mum managed to arrange an appointment with Doctor Peacock that afternoon:

'Hello, Daniel. I don't see you very often. What seems to be the problem?'

My neck's all swollen and it hurts to swallow.'

'All right. Let me have a look at you. My word, Sylvester Stallone would be jealous of that neck!'

Doctor Peacock thought that was funny. I tried to laugh but it hurt a lot. 'Have I got mumps, Doctor Peacock?'

'Yes, it's definitely mumps. The swelling and pain's caused by your parotid glands - they're the main salivary glands, just under your ears. Normally, you can't see or feel them. They make the saliva which drains into your mouth. I'm afraid you're going to look like a hamster for a week or so while they're swollen.'

'Oh, no. Everyone'll laugh at me, especially Harry. He's already been teasing me about how I look.'

'Well, don't take any notice of him. I know it doesn't sound like a lot of fun, but look at it this way - you'll get to stay off school for a week and be able to play with all your toys.'

It didn't seem quite so bad anymore when Doctor Peacock told me that. He advised Mum to give me painkillers to ease any pain and fever and said that if the symptoms were mild, I probably wouldn't need any treatment.

I could tell Mum was thinking about something because she started to look a little puzzled. 'I was wondering, Doctor, why Daniel's caught mumps when he's been immunised with the Measles, Mumps and Rubella vaccine - once, when he was 15 months and then again about 3 years later? I thought that was the norm - to have 2 doses - and that he'd be well protected?'

'Yes, the MMR vaccine does give very good protection, but it's not 100% effective. I think Daniel's just been one of the unlucky ones.'

'Right, I understand' said Mum.

'You mustn't worry, Mrs Roberts. Daniel will be back to normal within 7-10 days and raring to go.'

That seemed to reassure Mum. We were about to leave Doctor Peacock's consulting room when he called Mum back -

'By the way, Mrs Roberts, has your husband had mumps, do you know?'

'Er, I think so, Doctor. Why?'

'Well, as I've already explained, mumps is catching. About a quarter of the males who catch it over the age of 12 develop a painful swollen testis. Occasionally, it affects both testes and in rare cases may cause infertility.'

(I got the feeling I wasn't supposed to hear him say that because it sounded serious and he was whispering a bit. I made up my mind to look up the words 'testis' and 'infertility' in the dictionary when we arrived home.)

'Oh, my goodness, I'm sure my husband's already had mumps, though, when he was a child.'

'Good. He'll be immune for life then. I'd keep an eye on your other boy, Harry, just in case.'

When we arrived home, Harry wasn't his usual annoying self - at least he wasn't teasing me about me being down in the dumps. His face was a funny colour and he was lying on the sofa looking sorry for himself. The ham sandwich Mum had left on the table for a snack hadn't been touched.

'What's up, Harry?' I asked.

'My head hurts and I feel sick,' Harry moaned.

'Oh, really? Your neck looks a bit swollen, too . . . it'll match your head now . . . '

Harry's face started to go red then and he looked as though he was going to burst . . .

In the next few days, I started to feel a lot better. I even felt a bit sorry for Harry when I thought I'd given him mumps. As it turned out, he didn't have mumps at all - Dr Peacock said he's got Glandular Fever. I've just looked that up on the internet. It doesn't sound very nice. Poor old Harry.