Mrs Baxter's Blocked Ears

by Rosie Peters
^{(creative writers at www.morewriting.co.uk)}
Maud Baxter eased herself into the chair next to Nurse Jean's desk. "I've gone deaf. I'd like my ears syringed please."

"How long have you been deaf Mrs Baxter?" asked Jean, smiling at the old lady.

"Eh. What's that you're saying?"

Jean moved nearer and repeated her question.

"I've not been able to hear the clock ticking for months now," said Maud, "but my left ear has suddenly got worse. Ever since I tried cleaning it out myself."

"Are you getting any pain in your ears?"

"No," answered Maud, "but they feel full, and I'm fed up of not hearing what people say."

Jean got her auriscope which is a special ear torch and turned it on so that a light shone out of the pointed end. Maud shuffled in her seat then turned her head to one side.

"I'll look in your better ear first," said Jean as she inserted the pointed plastic end of the machine into Maud's right ear then gently moved it to enable her to examine the inside of the ear canal. "It's full of hard wax. No wonder you can't hear. I'll look at the other ear now."

Jean got up and repeated the examination in the left ear.

"What do you think Nurse? Are you going to syringe them?"

"No, I'm not. The wax in your right ear is too hard. I can't see wax at all in the left ear. All I can see is something white."

"Oh dear!" Maud's face flushed. "I was dreading you might say that. I think I might have lost a bit of cotton wool in my ear. I usually clean my ears out with cotton buds but I ran out, so I used some cotton wool on the end of a hair grip."

"I'll try and get it out for you but you'll need to keep very still." Jean put a light fixed to an elastic strap on her head and pointed the light towards Maud's left ear. She edged her chair closer, and pushed the end of a tiny plastic funnel into Maud's ear. Carefully she inserted the ends of forceps through the funnel, grasped hold of the white mass and pulled it out. "Here's your lost cotton wool." said Jean holding up a piece the size of a pea.

Maud gasped, "I'll never do that again, Nurse."

Jean shook her head. "You mustn't try and clean the inside of your ears. They're self cleaning you know. And you definitely mustn't use cotton buds, hair grips or anything like that. When people try and remove wax they often just push it further back towards the ear drum."

Maud shuffled in her seat. "Alfie told me I shouldn't do it, but my ears have been driving me mad. It's alright for him, he never has problems with wax. I've had to have my ears syringed lots over the years."

"Most people don't have problems with wax. Everyone's different. Some people just make more than others. We only need to remove it if it causes a problem. Generally a bit of wax is good as it keeps the skin in the ear canals lubricated."

"What is wax then?" asked Maud.

"It's a mixture really of secretions from the ear, sweat, dead skin cells and dust."

Maud frowned. "I heard you don't syringe ears much these days."

Jean nodded. "It's true we don't syringe much these days. We've got rid of the old fashioned metal syringes that looked like cake icing gadgets. The electronic ear irrigation machines we use now are much safer."

"So are you going to use this machine to unblock my ears?"

"I'll use it if necessary, but I need you to go home and start putting olive oil in your ears to soften the wax. Perhaps you could get Alfie to put it in three or four times a day with a dropper. It's best if you lie down to have the oil put in, and if you get Alfie to gently pull your ear up and out while he does it, the oil's more likely to get to the right place and dissolve the wax. It's best if the oil has been allowed to stand in a warm room for half an hour to get it to the right temperature."

"So then you'll syringe, sorry irrigate my ears will you?"

"There may be no need to. The wax should soften nicely after five to seven days treatment with oil. It might come out on its own and your hearing should, hopefully, go back to normal. If you're no better after using the oil, come back and I'll see if I need to do anything further for you."

"OK." Maud got up to leave.

"No more poking things in your ears now," said Jean. "If I hadn't been able to get the cotton wool out I'd have had to send you to the hospital. There's an old saying. Never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear."

Maud laughed. "I promise I won't be naughty again. Thanks Nurse."