A Tick can be Cross Too!

by Shelley White
^{(creative writers at www.morewriting.co.uk)}
I'd been laying low biding my time in the long grass on the moors for months waiting for a sheep, cow, dog or even a human to come along to latch on to. Our family aren't really all that partial to humans but sometimes there isn't much choice.

Many walkers when they passed by me were well protected with long-sleeved shirts and trousers and by the smell of them I think they'd been using insect repellent. I have to admit, their unpleasant aroma did put me off biting them a bit. My patience was rewarded, however, when a lady came along with her dog for an early morning stroll. The dog was one of those intelligent spaniels and stayed to the middle of the path away from the grass, but the lady - ah, she brushed against the grass with her bare legs. That was my chance. I very quickly managed to jump onto one of her legs- and boy was that a treat for a blood sucker like me! I'm small and light as a feather and because my teeth are extremely sharp, I'm very gentle when I bite. The poor dear didn't feel a thing.

I had a great time for about 12 hours making my way around her body till I got to a really warm fleshy part on her midriff that looked quite safe. I then quenched my thirst in blood - ah, bliss! It was an absolute joy for me to luxuriate on living and breathing flesh for a change after spending so long on that blade of grass waiting for my luck to change.

We arrived at her house in time to hear the ten o' clock news, after which she decided to go to bed. Hey, what was she doing? I wasn't expecting this. She was getting undressed but she must have spotted me - though I don't know how because I'm as small as a poppy seed when I just start my meal - and she started to try and brush me off with her fingernail. But I wouldn't budge - I made sure that my six legs and two antennas were gripping her skin tightly. I think she panicked when I wouldn't move because she started screaming and swirling round like a crazed dervish which was totally unnecessary in my opinion. Her ravings were the signal for another human to run upstairs shouting "Teresa, whatever's the matter?" The next minute, to my horror, she'd found some tweezers.

Help! Mind my head! Thank goodness she didn't just yank me out - that might have snapped my head off completely. She grasped me with the tweezers very close to her skin and gently she pulled me upward steadily. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. You'll never guess what she did after that. She put me in a plastic bag and made sure I couldn't get out.

I could still see what she was doing through the bag. I'd left a red mark on her skin so she disinfected it with antiseptic and inspected the rest of her body for any of my friends who might be hiding. I noticed she paid particular attention to folds of skin such as her armpits and groin. Then she got in the shower and gave herself a good scrub all over.

The next day Teresa took me to the Environmental Health Office at the Town Hall and asked the Pest Control Officer what kind of insect I was. He examined me under a microscope and couldn't wait to give her the spiel about me being a sheep tick. I thought at least he'd have given me my proper name, Ixodes Ricinus, but maybe he assumed that wouldn't interest her.

I think she was rather stunned by this information because she never said anything and I noticed the colour drain from her face. He went on about how I was an insect found in woodland and heathland areas and how I usually feed on blood from mammals and birds but occasionally bite humans. Yeah, right, but at least sheep, cows and birds don't rush for the tweezers to pull me out of their skin.

Teresa had to sit down at this point but the gentleman didn't seem unduly perturbed - he'd seen lots of my friends on dogs and cats on many occasions. I didn't think he'd go into such detail but he insisted on dropping the bombshell about how occasionally I can be infected with Borrelia Burgdorferi, a bacterium that can cause Lyme Disease. Now, personally, I don't have that bacterium, but some of my friends in the woods can't wait to infect someone.

Well, when she heard him mention Lyme Disease it must have sent her blood pressure up because she started breathing very fast and fired lots of questions at him about it. He seemed to relish telling her that it was a nasty disease which can affect the nervous system and joints. He forgot to say that occasionally the heart and other tissues can be affected too. Tee hee - that's painful!

He tried to reassure her by saying that early treatment with antibiotics usually helped to prevent complications and that if she noticed a spreading rash that looks like a target (bull's eye) developing from the site of the bite or felt unwell with flu-like symptoms in the next few weeks, she should see her doctor. But Teresa needn't have worried because as far as I've already mentioned, I don't happen to be an infected tick, unlike some of my friends in the woods. I think he must have been getting a bit bored, or maybe it was nearly lunchtime because he started to usher her out.

"Don't worry, madam, I'm sure you'll be fine. You haven't got a rash and you removed the tick from your skin within twenty four hours. I'll dispose of the tick for you madam."

That's what he thought - but he wasn't going to get rid of me that easily. Ouch! He was a bit rough tipping me back into the bag. Then he headed for the men's toilets. He was probably intending to flush me down the toilet to get rid of me. Boy, did that make me cross. I had to think of something quick.

Luckily, I managed to make my escape quite easily. I found the tiniest hole in the corner of the bag and squeezed myself through it. Freedom at last. I was falling fast but I had a lovely soft landing - right inside that horrible man's trouser turn-up. It would only take a few hours for me to reach his juicy leg. That'll teach him for trying to get one over on me. Yummy, I could hardly wait!