Vlad the Impaler

- who learnt how to use his new inhaler

by Star

This is the story of Vlad the Impaler
Who learnt how to use his new inhaler.

Once young Vlad was a sickly lad
And when he was busy, he felt quite bad.

As soon as he tried to get into action
His body would start to have a reaction,

Vlad's lungs would feel tight, which made him wheeze.
And he couldn't stop coughing, found it hard to breathe,

His eyes would bulge, his face would go red
And then his Mum would send him straight to bed.

So back to his room they would carry him
And would tuck him in with his teddy, Jim.

All Vlad wanted was to get out and impale
But instead he was sent to bed 'cos he'd fail.

Unfortunately for Vlad, bed was no cure
And being stuck there could be such a bore.

The call went out throughout the land
For someone to lend a helping hand.

Now Merlin the magician heard the story
Of how young Vlad had lost his glory,

And he travelled to the castle of the young Impaler
And offered to show him how to use an inhaler.

"The problem you've got is your tubes are constricted,
The air to your lungs is being restricted.

Just one whiff of my super magic gas
And you'll soon be cutting off heads like grass."

So Vlad he listened and learned how to use
A thing called a spacer. Now that was good news.

First, he had to give the inhaler a shake
Then he followed instructions, the spacer to make.

He found that by squirting his medicine in
He could breathe it properly and not feel a sting,

If he took a whiff just before he went out
He could be up with the action and still give a shout.

So up did Vlad get to take his first squirt
And knew that this time he wouldn't get hurt.

For most of the morning he impaled things on his spike
As he rode round the country on his mountain bike.

That afternoon he spent cutting off the heads
Of roses and flowers and plants that were dead.

And throughout the land all again did agree
That no one was fiercer than Vlad could be.

In all of this time he never once wheezed
Though the state of the garden meant his Dad wasn't pleased.

So children with asthma learn from the Impaler
And before you do exercise, use your inhaler.