Forgettin' Bedwettin'

by Sharon Yapp

A difficult subject, it has to be said,
The topic mum calls "wettin' the bed"
I know she means well - keeps saying "lets talk",
I don't want to, I feel such a dork!!

I can't remember a time it wasn't an issue,
Even tried stuffin' my pants full of tissue!
When that didn't work, I tried with a towel,
The pong the next morning, YUK! it was foul!

The constant washing and changing the bed,
Nothing escaped, not even my Ted!
Along with the sheets, he'd get a good clean,
Come back looking better than he'd ever been!

Mum tried everything - came up with a plan,
Along came the after dinner NO DRINKS ban,
When that didn't work, she'd wake me MID SLEEP,
I hadn't quite finished counting the sheep!

Then, one day "a new system" she said,
It looked like tin foil wrapped round the bed!!
Seems it's an alarm - dead clever, linked to a bell,
Once the sheets are on, you can't even tell!

It took a few goes, but I soon got the hang,
Now I do sleepovers with the rest of the gang!
No more problems, it's easy YOU'LL SEE,
Trust me, you can manage this thing we call WEE!!