You're Feeling Sad? ... You're Not Alone

by Shelley White
^{(creative writers at www.morewriting.co.uk)}
When I was 11 years old, my darling Daddy died. He had been ill for about a year but I just presumed he would get better. Nobody told me he had lung cancer and he had it so bad that there wasn't much hope of recovery. I suppose they didn't want to upset a young child.

Anyway, when he got really poorly, Mum said it would be nice for me to have a little holiday with my auntie and uncle. It was Christmas so I was off school. I had a lovely time by the seaside, even though it was cold. After a few days auntie said it was time to go back home.

We arrived at my house and I rushed in to tell Mum and Daddy what a good time I'd had. That's when Mum broke the news that Daddy had died while I was away.

At first I couldn't believe what she said. I was totally shocked. I was so angry at Mum for deceiving me like that. If I could just have said goodbye, my mind would have been at ease.

A couple of days later, I had to go back to school. I was looking forward to seeing my friends again. But the strange thing was, they seemed to be avoiding me. Now I realise that was because they knew about Daddy but were embarrassed because they didn't know what to say to me.

This made me even sadder than before. I had nobody to talk to at break. I used to walk around on my own wishing my Daddy would come back, then everything would return to normal.

I used to like to do puzzles and crosswords, but I just couldn't concentrate on them anymore. I used to know all the words to all the songs in the top 10 off by heart, but they didn't interest me now. I would think about Daddy and start to cry. I felt guilty because I hadn't said goodbye to him. I felt useless; I couldn't find anything to keep my attention. I had trouble sleeping which meant I was tired in the daytime. I never felt hungry, just sickly and headachy. I felt restless and irritable.

One day I was in the library and I thought of Daddy and I started to cry.

'What's the matter Tina?' the librarian asked.

'My Daddy died last week and I can't stop thinking about him. I never got the chance to say goodbye and this has made me feel so sad and lonely. My friends keep looking the other way when they see me too. My life is so different to what it was before. Now Mum has to go out to work and I have a key to get in the house after school. I don't like coming home and seeing Daddy's empty chair.'

'You poor thing, to be grieving at such a young age. No wonder you feel so sad and down. When you lose someone you love, someone as close as your daddy, it takes time to get over it. Don't think you're overdoing it though - it's just how everyone feels in your shoes. Other people have experienced similar terrible feelings of sadness brought on by the death of someone they love, suddenly finding out about illness or losing their livelihood. Sometimes these feelings occur for no apparent reason. There are many other causes too but the same treatment will prove effective for all of them. But honestly Tina, I promise you'll start to feel better soon.'

'Will I?'

'Oh yes, and you'll get back to your normal self a lot quicker if you exercise every day, like taking a walk or jogging or going for a swim. You could try walking to school instead of catching the bus. Also you should talk to someone about your feelings - you know like a friend or relative or someone you can trust to talk to.'

'I don't know anyone like that.'

'Ask your Mum to take you to see the doctor then. Your doctor can find you someone to talk to - someone trained to help people who are feeling sad after they lose someone special. It'll make a big difference.'

'But I'm finding it a bit difficult to speak to my Mum at the moment.'

'Don't worry, Tina, you can make an appointment to see the doctor yourself if you'd rather.'

After our chat I felt much better. I did what she advised and started walking to school. This seemed to work - the exercise made me feel hungry and I felt more like eating. Soon my friends were talking to me again so I was much happier.

Each day I'd wake up and not feel quite so sad anymore. My friend Jenny asked me to join the Chess Club. I am glad I did because I learnt to play chess and made some new friends too. I used to chat regularly to the librarian about all sorts of things, which was nice. Before too long, I understood why Mum acted like she did and I forgave her ... that's when I started to feel a lot happier.

Now I know that when I feel sad, I'm not alone. There is always someone who can help me. All I have to do is confide in someone I trust. What's more, I now know it doesn't last forever.