Just thought I'd post on here as I'm running out of options.
I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for about 10 years since I lost my job under extremely embarrassing circumstances. I've had other jobs since, and enjoy the work I do now.
Unfortunately, my anxiety has grown into something uncontrollable, and I'm at my wit's end. I'm currently taking 2 x trazadone, 6 x pregabalin, 2 x beta blocker, 2 x diazepam, as well as tablets for my IBS and high blood pressure. And still I find myself anxious all the time, floods of tears (which is embarrassing being a man and during work), and just total brain fog.
I'm terrified I'm going to lose my job, as I have to help support my parents and sister (who has lupus and is unable to work).
I've not done anything hurtful in my life, so why is this 'curse' put upon me? It's so unfair, I feel so ashamed and depressed.
I've now received a letter from my therapist who's sending me for a psychiatric medication review, which I'm absolutely terrified about as well as upset, as I'm now labelled as 'having a mental health problem.' It's utterly devastating, I don't know who I am anymore, I feel emotionally numb and am at a total loss.
All this at 40 years of age - it's too much.